It was only a few months ago when I had a moment to sit and luxuriate in a conversation with one of my acquaintances (we’ll call him Averaging Joe for anonymity purposes). Joe positioned himself before me and proceeded to froth with disgust relating to the mundane aroma wafting from his insipid-flavoured working life. “What I would give not to work”. “It would be amazing to stay at home and make time for the things I actually want to do”. “I’m sick to death of getting up early”.
It seemed as if Joe was the captain in command aboard a ship called boredom and trapped in the depthless waters of shallow futures. Yet since the COVID quarantine came creeping into our quiet neighbourhood, Joe spends his days finally living his long-awaited dream. Without delay, Joe was without predicament and surrounded by the spacious freedom he craved so vehemently. Unfortunately, the sweetness of Joe’s dream was more appetizing as a dream and the well-cooked reality was far too bitter to stomach. Currently, Joe finds himself feeding from a lonely vat of nostalgic fantasy in an attempt to taste normality.
Joe! Don’t ya know the grass only looks green from a distance of at least 1.5 meters?
Humans are simple creatures who largely enjoy three simple mechanisms:
1. Dreaming
2. Consuming
3. Complaining
The essence of dreaming, scheming and conceiving offers us the glorious possibility of potential progression while our incessant lust for prideful gratification can only be achieved through means of attainment, completion or accomplishment. Having said that, it seems to be our critical approach to fussiness which really gets us hot. We revel in the freedom and entitlement to complain. I mean who knows... Things could look better but we haven’t seen it. Things could smell better only we haven’t smelled it. Things could taste better though we never tasted it. Needless to say, I’m no exception. This entire essay is shaping up to be just another scathing complaint about people who complain.
Be that as it may, it’s absolutely imperative to understand the hot milk of societies underlying tensions if you plan to sip the scolding cream otherwise known as intellectual activism. Our cantankerous attitudes suggest that we’ve all been victimized by the injustice of pitiful isolation. However, it seems terribly ignorant to ignore the fact that most “everyday humans” such as Average Joe have already begun practising a low-level form of social distancing since the intrusive impersonal nature of social media became the crux of intimate exposure. Given these circumstances, it seems like a fitting conclusion that we’re no longer able to caress the arm of the boy next door (not that we would have anyway as we’re all too busy stalking his Facebook page).
So let’s be perfectly honest here when appraising this ugly social distancing dilemma. Most of us are just stubbornly spiteful and unsettled by the phrase “You can’t do that anymore!”
Nobody wants to be dominated and our atavistic tendency to pinch the nipple of authority has evolved into a generational mentality platformed upon the misconception of what it is to be “a pushover” in today’s free-thinking society.
“Joe, go jump off a cliff”, yelped mother.
“No!”, Joe replied.
"Joe, don’t jump off the cliff”, yelped mother.
“No!”, Joe replied.
Then again, it may be requisite for freedom itself which is the defining trademark of our collective uncooperative. We adore the idea of being a wild animal and yet we’re restricted by the low-resolution industrial chains we inherited from our domesticated parents.
There are more super serious totes crazy important aspects of lockdown such as that pesky ol’ economic burden. Though that's beside the point and definitely not what strains Average Joe’s mind. For those who have been genuinely impacted by the current restrictions, I sympathize with you. Whether you’re hung-up by financial devastation, hung-down by employment termination or laid-out by exequy ruination. These are remarkably punishing circumstances that offer very little compassion and I deeply appreciate your circumstances.
So as the COVID chaos slowly subsides and restrictions retreat, it looks as if we’ll have to find something else to complain about... possibly work?
Remember: You gotta practice your social distancing just like you practice your Kegels. After all, practice makes perfect and If all goes according to plan; your social distancing muscles will be ready to flex. In fact, you’ll be the Arnold Schwarzenegger of social distancing and people will forever fear your physical touch.
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