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Fruit Fright! An open letter from a strawberry. AKA The Strawberry Debacle


To the editor,

If you have heard the ‘needle’ news over the past few days, you may have taken more caution before biting into any produce product. Case in point, my fellow Strawberry, featured in the news a few days ago, along with other fruits reported being contaminated with needles cropping up all over the country. I get it; pin cushion supply has come at an all-time low since the middle ages, and people have been storing their needles and sewing equipment thereof in the likes of fruits. As a result, retailers such as major players, Woolworthes

and Aldi, have pulled my people from produce shelves, locale sales have plummeted, and everybody is scared of eating fruit (some genuine, and some not). The humans have even started to suspect our allies; the apples and bananas, with investigations having started a few days ago. What’s next? Our comrades, the pears? Our confidants, the oranges? All of fruitkind? Good heavens, spare the avocados!

So, I say to our needle wielding fiend; leave my people alone. I long for a future of my seedlings growing up plump, ripe and healthy to release spores of their own. Stop the massacre of innocent berries. Stop this sickness of blatant disrespect and disregard of the safety, of the humans. Either drop the embroidery kit, or do everyone a favour and invest in a pin cushion.

Regards,

Straw Berry

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