I’m all about LOVE, feelings, humanity, just being alive. I LOVE every aspect of music: sharing; expression through infinitely creative paths; the dreamy journey of feelings the sounds take me on; my ability to cope with and get through obstacles and pain with music by my side; the way my heart and body moves to the beat like it’s the creation of love…
Music makes me FEEL so connected and in tune; motivated for the possibilities this journey has presented in all its forms; empowered and confident. It has direct access to the passion of just being alive. HUMANITY to me is suffering blindly. It’s in denial of doing so and lost because of it. It’s taught to value everything except being true to oneself; only accepts and appreciates the pretty picture failing to see that perfection exists when accepting the flawed parts.
LIFE is beautiful and the best high ever; a journey when truly embraced the most magical one in existence... it’s an experience many fail to enjoy ..
What music does for me, I want that for everyone. I want them to experience something the mysteriously beautiful and the deep dichotomy that music is; an experience of pleasure while experiencing pain; dreaming in reality, while awake; heightened living. Everyone craves connections, with the often unacknowledged need to feel connected to themselves, on a deep level. Without music, I wouldn’t have been able to cope with reality. Reality is what we make it - I want to create a safe haven for people who suffer. I want to share my love and passion to help people with their journey and my own. It started with the idea of just embracing MY reality. I’m quite different than my American peers and was constantly reminded of it, and torn between being myself and filling societal and familial expectations. As a result I didn’t get to or even want to know myself. It scared me because like, I’m the oddball lol. I don’t really conform and I think, value, and love way differently. I went to college and ended up learning more about myself than any other subject. I struggled to maintain my stability while in dc and ended up not graduating. Had some jobs that would have turned into careers but just felt there was no way that I would feel fulfilled and accomplished based on expectations from others and myself. Went back to school but for some reason couldn’t finish. Stuck without a degree in a world that defines merit and success based on a piece of paper I was extremely lost ... I ended up moving back to Houston last year and was depressed most definitely. Got a job but as with every other potential career opportunity I had, it required a massive investment of my time attention at the risk of not succeeding and the expense of my spirit. It took me a while to change my perspective. I’m lucky I’m not confined. I’m free to do what I want, what I know I possess some degree of talent in doing. When I was back
in school, I got a cello for my birthday. I wanted to gift myself something that made me me and could distract me from draining for the wrong things. I used to play when I was younger and just remember how naturally it came and how I would get lost in it (at at that point, I knew myself so very well) and that’s how I want to start my creative music career. I’m confident I will just need a few refresher lessons before I can express my innermost self and give what I know I can. Eventually I was to incorporate me playing the cello into house/tech music. I want to create beautiful sounds ..