Is he a musical impostor or entertainment chameleon? While the reputation of Alice Cooper often conjures obscene visions of blood-drenched guitar anthems and goth jock antics, the veteran shock rocker’s incredible diversity becomes much more apparent when scourging through his long list of nightmarish achievements. In a career spanning almost fifty years, dating back to the mid-1960s, it no surprise that Alice has often mutated his iconic image to match the consistently changing music industry; even going so far as producing entire albums under various characters and personas. Now with 27 studio albums under his wheels, we dive into Alice’s most obscure gems (mascara covered warts and all).
NOTE: The songs listed appear in chronological order to emphasize Alice’s shocking range and career longevity. Shoe Salesman [1970]
The original Alice Cooper band have previously dismissed early recordings stating that the first real Cooper album wasn’t fully realised until the 1970s “Love It To Death”. Nevertheless, prior to screeching anthems such as “I’m Eighteen”, the band produced two very bizarre albums under Frank Zappa’s Straight record label. “Shoe Salesman” presents itself as an upbeat, boppy tune reminiscent to that of The Beatles serving as a small reminder to Alice’s original 1960s influences.
I Never Cry [1976]
Much like his 1975 power ballad hit “Only Women Bleed”, Alice takes another shot at heartfelt volubility. Described as an alcoholics confession, “I Never Cry” is filled with emotional lyrics accompanied by strumming acoustic guitars and a boastful orchestral arrangement. If you're looking for a song to play while you mournfully cry in your beer; here it is!
I’m The Coolest [1976]
Sure- Alice’s growling vocals are definitely suited to a heavy rock-oriented sound but this doesn’t mean the man can take a sip from the jazz cocktail. “I’m The Coolest” brings together a bass-driven composition mixed with some devilish wit. Think Tom Waits only dressed in tight leather and black makeup.
No More Love At Your Convenience [1977]
Most of us will agree that Disco sucks and while many heavy metal artists of the 70s totally dismissed the genre altogether, Alice instead spewed out a song perfectly suited to a teenybopper rollerskating rink. In fact, Alice himself has commented on “No More Love At Your Convenience” describing it as the worst song he ever wrote (enough said).
Clones (we’re all) [1980]
What could almost be booked as a knockoff Gary Numan parody, “Clones” follows in the footsteps of the New Wave craze which dominated the 1980s pop scene. While the track saw some mild success reaching the charts, today it acts as a bitter reminder of Alice’s identity crisis. Things get even stranger with the accompanying film clip depicting a gauntly thin Cooper draped head to toe in aluminum foil sporting some jolty robotic dancing.
Leather Boots [1980]
This is Madness! Nope... it’s still Alice but anybody who appreciates the energetic offbeat ska genre would surely confuse the two. Leather Boots is a short yet conflicting tune of confusing 2-tone rhythms which would probably be better suited on an album by The Specials. Subsequently, Leather Boots has never been performed live.
I Love America [1983]
After falling back into drug and alcohol addiction during the 80s, Alice began experimenting with more absurd lyrical content- the results of which are most apparent within his 1983 concept album DaDa. The track “I Love America” is a ridiculously satirical concoction that will make even the most die-hard Alice Cooper fan raise an eyebrow. Taking on the persona of a southern car salesman, Alice declares his love for Kentucky Fried Chicken, girls in short skirts, and the gruesome demise of General Custer.
The Song That Didn’t Rhyme [2003]
Now here’s something for all you early 2000s Sheryl Crow fans. Combining simplistic lyrics and chords that seem almost childlike, “The Song That Didn’t Rhyme” could almost make a pizza because it’s so damn cheesy. Hopefully this song was intended as a tongue-in-cheek comment on cheap pop music but it’s really anyone’s guess. This might actually be the scariest thing Alice Cooper has ever done.
Alice's 28th studio album "Detroit Stories" is set for release later this year and will feature guest appearances from music legends such as MC5's Wayne Kramer, GRAND FUNK RAILROAD's Mark Farner and many more.
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